Severed: Forest of the Dead (2005) directed by Carl Bessai.
(Proposed Title: “Enviro-Logger-Zombie Smackdown”)
Starring Paul Campbell, Julian Christopher, Sarah Lind and JR Bourne.
Zombie Film Rating:

“Quick, before the tasty bits are taken!”

Teaser: Just another day in the forest. Protestors busily chanting slogans at the loggers, loggers busy cutting down trees, trees busy infecting loggers with geneticically enhanced sap and the now infected loggers rampaging all over the protestors. So the cycle of life continues.

Seriously, a technically competent production with a promising premise but one that finds itself rapidly hobbled by cliched characters and situations. The film is visually pleasing, and the effects are entirely adequate but for some reason the film never seems to make it off the ground. Pacing is sporadic, and the cookie cutter characters entirely fail to elicit any empathy making their plight tedious and uninteresting. Not that the movie was entirely devoid of any entertainment value, but the lost potential is frustrating.

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“I don’t buy it, genetically mutated trees? What the hell are we talking about here? The Twilight zone?” – Mac

“Is it wrong to mock a zombie for his choice in suspenders?”

Plot Summary: As the movie opens we are taken to the forests of British Columbia and introduced to the two primary groups of zombie fodder for this film. The first are the noble enviromentalists valiantly trying to stem the wholesale harvesting of old growth forest by any means possible. The second group, at odds with the first, are the loggers doing their best to carve out an existence despite the best efforts of the first group.

The loggers have a few scientists among their group, which they endeavor to tolerate, who are seen to be discussing some irregularities in sap samples taken from the trees in this particular section of forest thus setting the stage for the carnage to follow.

Once the groundwork is laid our humble loggers are rapidly infected when one of their number cuts into a spiked tree and is directly exposed to the “suspicious” sap. His transformation is rapid and as he tries to feast upon his colleagues we cut away to uber-mega-lumber Corporations boardroom where they are discussing the tremendous profit potential of Program GX1134. Without even the slightest trace of irony they note that they have lost contact with the crew working the area, and uber-mega-lumber Corp’s chairman sends his son to investigate, believing the “field work” will be good for him.

“It wasn’t human anymore, you know? And it was either you or him, that’s the only way you can look at it.” – Rita

“Honestly, she’s the nicest old zombie you’ve ever met.”

Uber-mega-lumber Corp’s chairmans son, Tyler, arrives at the lumber mill to find it almost entirely abandoned. Almost, because the only occupants appear to be insane lumberjacks that are feeding on the bodies of their co-workers. Demonstrating a complete absence of crisis management Tyler flees not towards his truck, but rather runs blindly into the forest hoping for the best.

Fortunately Tyler is blessed by the writers, and he encounters one of the few uninfected lumberjacks, and is taken to option #78 on the list of places to hide when zombies roam the earth, a fortified lean-to. Once inside he is introduced to a number of two dimensional characters including the drill sergeant-esque Foreman, the guilt-ridden cowardly scientist and the idealistic vegan.

After much discussion the group decides to return to the saw-mill to collect Tylers truck thus escaping from the forest of zombies. A series of minor zombie encounters follows, which includes protestors chained to trees being consumed by zombified loggers (this scene alone ensured the movie rated a minimum of one skull). Our groups ride to freedom is stopped cold when they discover the road has been barricaded. Seems rapid containment is a speciality of lumber corporations (which explains their lack of any response when protesters were blocking the road).

“GET THE CHAINS OFF! GET THE FRIGGEN CHAINS OFF!” – Frank (Soon-to-be Zombie)

“I’d have escaped if it wasn’t for this window!”

The group now decides their best course of action is to return to the saw mill, barricade themselves in and use the radio onside to call for help (presumably help other than that which blocked the road). More zombie schenanigans follow, and the group eventually decides their only hope is to leave the area by the “other” road which leads to the “second camp”.

On arriving at the second camp they discover that a “Lord of the Flies” reenactment is well in progress, and exercising previously absent common sense, they decide that leaving is probably a good option. Before they can put their plan into action Carter, the guilt ridden cowardly scientist, makes good his escape leaving the gates open. As you would expect the compound rapidly fills with zombies bellying up to the logger buffet.

The foreman is eaten during the escape, and Tylers short stint of common sense is ended when he decides to assist the guilt-ridden cowardly scientist and instead merely adds some variety to the zombies diet.

As the movie closes, the idealist vegan is the sole survivor, walking along an empty stretch of road too near the zombie menace for comfort.

“It’s called GX1134. It’s a genetically enhanced hormone we injected into the fungas at the base of the tree. It brings in nutrients and mutates them. You get old growth trees in a third of the time.” – Carter

“Simple chronic necrosis?”

Critique: A Canadian production I had high hopes for this movie. Asthetically it’s well done, with the possible exception of the shaky camera work for each and every contact with the zombies. Gore and other effects are acceptable, but it’s in the characters that this movie falls apart. At no point during the 90 minutes of zombie ducking did I find myself caring about the outcome, I had resigned myself to a series of zombie contacts followed by convenient escapes and sadly I was not disappointed.

In so far as the details go, this virus is obviously highly contagious as any bite turns the victim almost immediately, yet repeated and continual exposure to blood (via both eyes and mouth) during the “zombie stomping” sessions has no effect.

The Final Word: Frankly I’d rate this as a second tier rental. There are far better zombie movies out there, unfortunately there are far worse as well.