Return of the Living Dead - Necropolis (2005) directed by Ellory Elkayem.
(Proposed Title: “Did anyone involved in this movie see the preceeding ones?”)
Starring Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, Cory Hardrict, John Keefe, Jana Kramer, Peter Coyote, Alexandru Geoana and Diana Munteanu.
Zombie Film Rating:

“Acting causes pain!”

Teaser: When one of their friends is abducted by an uber-corporation on the way to a hospital, the rest decide that they will have to handle matters themselves. They break into the HybraTech facility with the assistance of a friend in the security center, and while rescuing their injured friend manage to release the zombies warehoused in the “Necropolis”. Only good luck and chaotic action sequences can save them now.

Ouch, Number four in the franchise, and while still better than number two (figuratively not literally) it falls considerably short of zombie perfection. Violating, at this point, well established rules for Trioxin-245 zombies and employing a cast composed predominantly of people with pronounced Russian accents this entry hardly raises the bar for “Return of the Living Dead’s” to follow.

“Stay on the walkway and away from the doors. Any sudden movement makes them angry, trust me you don’t want to make them angry.” - Charles Garrison

“Not so ominous, he’s just sleeping.”

Plot Summary: Charles Garrison, employee of HybraTech, travels to Chernobyl to acquire what are possibly the last 6 drums of Trioxin-245 (Did ANY of these arrive at their intended destination?). Russian henchmen abound, and while assembling the drums one of them is exposed to a liquid seeping from the drum. He turns into a zombie almost immediately, and after killing a comrade is put down with a single well placed shot to the head by Garrison (Um, since when did headshots work on the Trioxin zombies?).

We return to the sunny United States, and are introduced to a gang of high school kids involved in normal high school kid pursuits, getting into college, having a good time and dirt biking. When their friend Zeke is injured in a dirtbike accident Julian attends the hospital to see how he’s doing, he’s told Zeke had a reaction to the medication and died enroute to the hospital. Over at HybraTech however, Katy is working in the surveillance room and see’s her ex-boyfriend brought in by the paramedics. The kids meet, and determine that all sorts of nastiness is taking place at HybraTech, and that they need to infiltrate the facility and bust their friend out.

“Get me out of here, and just in case you haven’t noticed dude, your uncle sucks!” - Zeke

“Time out! Eye toke!”

With the friend of their friend Katy who works in the HybraTech monitoring center they enter the facility through service tunnels and find themselves in the armoury where the encounter Uncle Charles. Explaining they are there to collect their friend, they force him at gunpoint to take them to the “Necropolis”. The kids are suprised to learn that HybraTech has been warehousing dozens and dozens of zombies beneath it’s facility.

When Uncle Charles refuses to open the door to Zekes cell, the kids attempt to shoot the lock open. This triggers an alarm, which inexplicably notifies Police ten minutes after its activated (Handy alarm, things should be well in hand by the time they show up, no?). While they manage to extricate Zeke, Katy in the monitoring center struggles to override the alarm. The kids discover the bio-engineering area of the necropolis and confront uncle Charles about Julians parents death, Charles reluctantly admits that the corpses of his parents are housed in the bio-weapons division. He escapes moments later.

“Man shoot her!” - Cody
“She’s my friend! I..I lost my virginity to her.” - Jullian
“Man, everybody know your first time sucks!
So split her damn head open man!” - Cody

“Mom, Dad…I’m gay. There, it’s out.”

The group of kids resumes their “shoot the lock until the door opens” routine triggering more alarms in the monitoring station. Worse, this penchant for firearms access has caused a failure in the access control system resulting in the escape of the necropolis zombies.

Fortunately the kids already know their way to the armoury, and exercising more than a little common sense, they arm themselves to the teeth. Common sense aside, they immediately expend all their ammunition on the first few zombies they encounter, and then have to resort to hand to hand combat with the zombies. Casualties result (duh!).

The kids are split into two groups; Zeke and company securing a vehicle for thier escape and Julian and two others on a quest to find the bodies of his parents. Not too suprisingly Zeke (who was bitten a little earlier) begins turning into a zombie just as things appear less bleak for them.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m already dead fuckhead!” - Zeke

“SWAT garbage removal…”

Things continue in this vein until the final showdown between Jullian and Zeke, and the uber-zombies that Julians parents had become. Once the key zombies have been eliminated, the SWAT teams show up in what appear to be BTR-80s and lay waste to the lesser zombies.

Three of the original group of friends survive the chaos. Uncle Charles makes his escape with a few barrels of Trioxin-245. The world continues to turn.

Critique: You know, it’s as if the people behind this movie never even bothered to watch the 3 movies that came before it. For some unknown reason the chemical is referred to as Trioxin-5 in this film, we’re never entirely sure why Charles Garrison must travel all the way to Russia to obtain a sample when the HybraTech facility has a basement filled with highly infectious zombies already, and somehow along the way trioxin zombies have become less resiliant than any of their bretheren, suddenly being incapacitated by punches, kicks and gunshot wounds to the torso. Headshots have again become the accepted means of killing a zombie for this movie.

Which makes things all the more confusing when Charles Garrison manages to reanimate an arm using the Trioxin he scored at Chernobyl, just where is the head located on that arm? Clearly logic and contemporary mythology were not big issues to the writers. Worse was the talking, sparring Zeke-zombie at the end, why is he the only zombie capable of talking, taunting and sarcasm? Why even bother at that point?

The acting is largely sub-par, it’s above B-Grade level, but just barely. We never get the chance to develop any empathy for these cookie cutter caricatures, and it’s probably just as well (I was taking notes and I didn’t catch more than half the names). The rapid fire demise of so many just makes the process of keeping track of them easier.

The Final Word: Nope. Short of a desperation rental, give this one a wide berth. I had to sit through it, but I do it specifically so you don’t have to.