Children shouldn’t play with dead things (1972) directed by Bob Clark.
(MF Title: “Hex, hugs and grassy knolls.”)
Starring Alan Ormsby, Valerie Mamches, Jeff Gillen, Anya Ormsby and Paul Cronin.
Zombie Film Rating:

Summary:A group of kids sail a boat out to a relatively deserted island to film a movie (well, despite the absence of any filming equipment), and the director (a creepy little fella) decides that its a good idea to hire some extras for the film.

By hire I mean dig a dead person up, and use the corpse in the film. Our creepy little director is a bit of a prankster so he has sent a few co-conspirators ahead of the main party to dig up a corpse, and have one of conspirators hide in the coffin so as to scare the main party when they “dig” him up.

This of course involves the assault and restraint of the watchman/maintenance guy for the island (one wonders if the kids are acquainted with the “kidnapping” statutes in this region).

Once this practical joke is “sprung” on the rest of the crew, they get back to the business of doing what kids normally do while on a remote island, recite incantations designed to raise the dead (obviously my teenage years were an exception)and play with a corpse.

This reckless exuberant exploration of the occult continues, and naturally the dead rise from their graves and seek to drag our friends into the afterlife.

The kids barricade themselves into the cottage they’ve been staying in while the living dead stumble around outside. The stereotypical “boarding up” operations ensue, and they kids attempt to formulate some sort of plan to get themselves out of this mess before the zombie hordes burst into their bastion.

Naturally (and this is almost formulaic by now) they try the old trick “distract the zombies while one of us runs out the back door to freedom…”, which meats with predictable results. Their first plan having been foiled we witness a calm, cool and collection brain storming session. Well, we witness a few of the characters lose it, and while they are arguing zombies break in and drag one of the female characters from the house.

Finally the group (or whats left of it) figures that they can reverse the spell, and send the zombies back to their graves (or at least get them away from the house). The spell is reversed, and the zombies appear to leave… Ha ha! All according to plan!

The group leaves the house, and marches through the graveyard only to be set upon by pesky zombies (who knew their actions were concerted in any way, shape or form, eh?)

With more members of the party now firming engrossed in their task of decomposing, the remaining living ones flee back to the cabin and once again find themselves surrounded by zombies, with the feeble barricades folding.

The zombies break into the house, and eventually consume the last two party members. Naturally the irony is that the corpse that was originally dug up as an extra, eats the leader of the little group.

As the film closes we see the zombies boarding the boat that brought the group to the island, and we can only assume that the zombies are planning to invade the city (as theres no sunset for them to sail off into).

Critique: Well, I’ve got a soft spot for zombie films, and this has its age going for it. Released in ‘72 it’s a very early (comparatively) zombie film, and it gets some points for joining the genre before these types of films really caught on.

This is just about where the points stop accumulating however, the acting is generally bad, the production values are almost non-existant, and personally I was never entirely sure just what the hell the kids were doing on that island.

This zombie film is one of the few where no guns are involved (not a plus I’m afraid), and the characters never really discover a way to stop the zombies (we never get he obligatory “attack the head” revelation), on the plus side the zombies never add to their number (as the dead members of the party remain very dead), so the threat of an ever exploding number of zombies is nominal.

All in all it was an entertaining little film, it’s got alot of schlock value and the outfits are entertaining. I give it two skulls simply for the giggles I got.

Patrick was responsible for this film being reviewed!